Teacher Mom vs. Summer Mom

As this summer winds itself down and another school year is about to begin, I’m faced with the usual sadness that surfaces when my carefree days come to an end. I tend to get weepy and nostalgic thinking back on the memories that only summer affords. And this summer has been no exception in regards to memories made.

Many of my friends have already headed back to school. I’ve read the posts and blogs about the morning alarm clock, the PD/ in service trainings, the Sunday night blues…
In another week their burdens will also be mine. I’m not complaining. I know the value of having this freedom. I am lucky. I don’t take it for granted. I express my gratitude on a daily basis. However, my family knows that in this house resides a summer mom, and a teacher mom.

Summer mom stays up late, cooks meals, reads, exercises, and watches sunsets. Truthfully, teacher mom does all these things too, but with much less energy. There’s quite a difference between staying up late because you have no where to be in the morning, and staying up because you are thinking/stressing over your job. There’s a difference between preparing a meal for your family because it feels productive to try out a new recipe, vs. scrounging up a recipe based on whatever leftovers you can find in the fridge. There’s a difference between reading at a leisurely pace, vs correcting essays into the wee hours of the night. There’s a difference between going for a run during the middle of the day vs. waking up at 4:30am to run on the treadmill in a darkened basement. And sunsets are so much better enjoyed with that glass of wine…

As I said, I’m not complaining (well perhaps just a little). I’m just a bit sad that it’s almost time to tuck summer mom away for the next 10 months.

Oh, and I will leave it up to you to figure out if it’s teacher mom or summer mom that my family prefers.😉

Regrets

Is the measure of a successful life one without regrets? Is there really such a thing? We all have hopes, dreams, desires and goals. And while we may work really hard to turn them into reality, do we always succeed? Sometimes, aren’t there obstacles that make it impossible for our wishes to come to fruition? Does this in turn mean we have not lived fully?

I have a few regrets in the life I’ve lived thus far. Presently I am struggling with a huge one. Despite how badly I desired this event to transpire, there were obstacles that got in the way. Looking back, the choices I made, or failed to make, are weighing heavy on my heart. Looking back, the path that would have led me there now seems so clear. In that moment however, the path was muddled, scary, and seemingly out of reach.

So tonight I am left with feelings of sadness, self doubt, and yes, regret. I cannot keep my mind from thinking about what might have been. And it makes me think about these obstacles that get in the way. Are they obstacles that we ourselves create? Why would we intentionally sabotage our deepest desires? Why would we set up roadblocks instead of living out the life we really want? Do these roadblocks serve a purpose? Do they appear to show you a different path for your next journey? I wish I had the answers to these questions. I think most of us live with regrets, some more than others. Knowing we can’t go back, I guess we just move forward and learn from the bumps along the way. I’m not sure anyone can live a life free of regret. I would like to hope that a successful life is NOT one measured by regret, but instead in the way we handle ourselves when these obstacles do get in our way.

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