Unsteady Currents

Ups and downs. Highs and lows. Ins and outs. Such are the unsteady currents of my life. Where I once knew tranquility and peace, I now find myself feeling lost at sea. I long for the days when I returned from work with feelings of accomplishment. Instead, I now find myself feeling depleted and spent. At times I dislike the person I’ve become-(quick tempered, defensive). So I’m left to ponder, will I ever get back to the serenity I once knew? Are those days out of my grasp? Should I have to work so hard to find peace in my life where it once flowed so naturally? Is this what some would call a mid-life crisis? Why can’t a day that starts off great, end in the same fashion? Why is there always something that sends me adrift???

I have been questioning, thinking, reading, writing, and listening in an attempt to seek answers. For every day that I feel renewed in spirit, there always seems to be another day where I feel defeated. I’m trying desperately to ride these waves, but I much prefer the still waters of bygone days…

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